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Today, almost anyone is just one message away. Celebrities have social networks, experts have open profiles, and the people you need from the professional sphere have working contacts. The question is not “where to look,” but how to meet the right person so that he wants to respond and continue communication.

Let’s look at the working algorithm: from preparing for a conversation to specific phrases that help overcome the awkwardness of the first contact – offline and online.

Почему знакомство с нужным человеком — это навык, а не талант

Many people think that only born extroverts can easily make acquaintances. In fact, the ability to communicate with people is a trainable skill. Researchers from Oxford have found that people with a wider social circle have more active areas of the brain responsible for communication, and the connections between these areas are stronger. This is not an innate feature, but the result of practice.

The more often you meet new people – colleagues, neighbors, event participants – the easier each next acquaintance becomes. Therefore, if your goal is to learn how to make useful contacts with the right people, you should start not with an ideal scenario, but with regular practice.

Подготовка: как найти подход к нужному человеку

When we are not talking about a chance meeting, but about a targeted acquaintance – with a potential partner, an expert or a person from the professional field – preparation increases the chances of a response significantly.

Изучите человека заранее. Посмотрите его соцсети, публичные выступления, статьи. Так вы поймете круг интересов и найдете темы, которые будут интересны обоим.

Подумайте, чем вы можете быть полезны. Соотнесите его интересы со своими навыками и ресурсами: возможно, вы можете предложить полезный контакт, рекомендацию или совместный проект.

Ищите теплый контакт вместо холодного. Если у вас есть общие знакомые — коллеги, участники одного сообщества, партнеры по нетворкингу, — попросите их представить вас или хотя бы предупредить о вашем сообщении. Теплое знакомство работает эффективнее холодного обращения.

Как написать сообщение, на которое ответят

The first message to a stranger is the most difficult stage. The recipient does not expect anything, and the message inevitably distracts him from his work. Therefore, make it short, clear and useful for the interlocutor, not for yourself.

Working structure of an introduction message:

1. Представьтесь. Имя и пара слов о том, чем занимаетесь.
2. Укажите, откуда вы знаете человека или как на него вышли. Общий контекст формирует доверие быстрее, чем что-либо еще.
3. Обозначьте цель. Коротко объясните, зачем пишете.
4. Оставьте контакт для связи.
5. Дайте право на отказ. Фраза вроде «если нет — никаких проблем, все понимаю» снимает давление и располагает к более дружелюбному ответу.

An important nuance: talk about your impressions, and do not evaluate the person. The phrase “you are an excellent specialist” is an assessment that you were not asked for and which sounds like flattery. The phrase “I’m impressed by your projects” is a sincere impression that is perceived in a completely different way.

And most importantly: do not have any illusions that you are obligated to answer. Lack of response is not a failure, but part of the process. If there is no reaction a few days after the reminder, move on calmly.

Как начать разговор при личной встрече

If acquaintance occurs live – at a conference, event, in a general community – slightly different tools work.

Откажитесь от банального small talk. Вместо дежурного «как погода?» добавьте эмоцию: «Не верю своим глазам, сколько снега выпало!» Такая фраза цепляет внимание и располагает к живому ответу.

Задавайте открытые вопросы. Закрытые вопросы («да/нет») гасят разговор. Открытые — двигают его вперед: «Что вдохновляет тебя в этой работе?», «Какая у тебя история?» вместо шаблонного «чем занимаешься?».

Используйте инфоповод. Если вы познакомились на мероприятии, сошлитесь на выступление или тему события — это готовая точка входа в разговор и повод показать искренний интерес.

Делайте искренние и конкретные комплименты. Расплывчатая похвала не работает так, как конкретная: «мне нравится, как вы комбинируете цвета» звучит убедительнее, чем «классная картина». Главное правило — не больше одного комплимента за раз и без оценки внешности при первом знакомстве.

Не бойтесь пауз. Короткое молчание — это нормально, не нужно судорожно его заполнять.

Правила Дейла Карнеги, которые актуальны и сегодня

The classical principles of the psychology of communicating with people have not lost their relevance almost a hundred years later:

• Be genuinely interested in other people rather than trying to seem interesting.
• Smile – it subconsciously makes you more attractive in the eyes of your interlocutor.
• Calling a person by name is a simple and natural sign of respect.
• Listen actively rather than waiting for your turn to speak.
• Talk about what is important to the other person, and not just about your topics.
• Sincerely show the person his importance – without pretense, which is easy to assume.

Соблюдайте границы — это часть искусства знакомства

The ability to easily meet the right people only works in tandem with respect for personal boundaries:

• Don’t force intimacy: don’t immediately move on to personal topics – relationships, health, money, politics.
• Don’t invite someone you don’t know to private places—choose public locations.
• Watch the body language of the interlocutor: if he looks towards the exit or turns away, it’s probably time to end the conversation.
• Maintain a balance of questions and your remarks so as not to turn the conversation into an interrogation.
• Accept rejection calmly. Not every person is ready to communicate right now, and this is not a reason to consider yourself a failure in networking.

Как закрепить знакомство

The first contact is just the beginning. To turn an acquaintance into a useful connection:

• Write to the person 1–2 days after the meeting, thanking him for the communication.
• If you promised to send something – an article, a contact, a link – do it right away.
• Offer a specific reason for the next meeting, rather than an abstract “let’s call again.”

Практикуйтесь регулярно

Like any skill, the ability to make the right contacts grows with practice. Start small: talk to your neighbor in the elevator, ask a question to a colleague from another department, meet new people at specialized events. The wider and more diverse your social circle, the easier it is to find common ground even with those who at first seem out of reach.

Именно для этого существуют форматы регулярных встреч внутри сообществ и по интересам — они снимают самый сложный барьер, «первый шаг», и дают структуру для знакомства: тема разговора и повод уже есть, остается использовать техники из этой статьи. Такие форматы, как случайные встречи с неслучайными людьми на Naura Meets, помогают тренировать навык нетворкинга регулярно — и в какой-то момент знакомство с нужным человеком перестает быть стрессом и становится естественной частью профессиональной и личной жизни.

Communication is a skill, not an innate talent available only to a select few. If you feel at a loss when meeting new people, or are afraid of seeming boring or uninteresting, the good news is that communication skills can be developed at any age. In this article, we will look at why shyness occurs, what qualities sociable people have, and what specific steps will help you become more confident and interesting in communication.

Почему некоторые люди стесняются общаться

There is rarely just one reason for communication difficulties. Most often it is a combination of several factors.

Особенности характера. Интроверсия или природная застенчивость — это не недостаток, а особенность нервной системы. Интроверты восстанавливают силы в одиночестве, а не в шумной компании, и это нормально. Стать экстравертом им вряд ли удастся, а вот научиться увереннее чувствовать себя в разговоре — вполне посильная задача.

Низкая самооценка. Люди, которые невысоко себя ценят, чаще тревожатся о том, что о них подумают окружающие, и склонны додумывать негатив там, где его нет.

Прошлый негативный опыт. Неудачное знакомство, насмешки, предательство друга — подобные ситуации формируют установку «лучше не рисковать» и мешают открываться новым людям.

Тревожность и социофобия. Если страх перед общением сохраняется больше полугода и мешает выходить из дома, ходить на работу или учебу, речь может идти уже не о простой застенчивости, а о расстройстве, с которым стоит работать со специалистом.

Недостаток социальных навыков. Умение вести беседу, задавать вопросы и слушать — это именно навык, который развивается практикой. Если в детстве или юности было мало возможностей общаться, во взрослом возрасте это может ощущаться как неловкость.

A separate reason that is often forgotten is age. After 25–30 years, most people’s social circle begins to shrink: life consists of a career, family and routine, and there is less and less time left to maintain old connections and make new ones. Therefore, the question “how to become more sociable” is equally relevant for both an 18-year-old introvert and a 35-year-old person who suddenly discovered that he had lost most of his friends.

Какими качествами обладает общительный человек

Communication skills are not just the ability to talk incessantly. Truly outgoing and interesting people usually have a few things in common:

• открытость — они не боятся высказывать свое мнение и делиться эмоциями;
• уверенность в себе — умение спокойно относиться к тому, что кто-то может не разделять их точку зрения;
• эмпатия — способность искренне интересоваться собеседником и ставить себя на его место;
• гибкость — умение подстраиваться под тон и тему разговора;
• тактичность — чувство меры, не позволяющее задеть или обидеть человека;
• чувство юмора — способность разрядить обстановку и посмеяться над собой.

The good news is that all these qualities can be trained in the same way as physical fitness – with regular and small efforts.

Как стать общительным и перестать стесняться: пошаговые советы

1. Помните, что окружающие тоже нервничают

In any new company, most people are as worried as you are – they just skillfully hide it. Understanding that behind a confident appearance often hides the same uncertainty relieves unnecessary stress before a conversation.

2. Сравнивайте себя только с собой прошлым

In order not to force yourself into comparison with more sociable acquaintances, evaluate your own progress: what kind of interlocutor you were a year ago and what kind of person you are now. This builds confidence better than trying to live up to someone else’s level.

3. Замените негативные установки на поддерживающие

If you are used to calling yourself “boring”, “buggy” or “too boring”, you are unconsciously perpetuating this role. Try to phrase it differently: “I know how to find a common language with people,” “I’m interested in getting to know others.” Thinking directly affects behavior in conversation.

4. Готовьтесь к разговору заранее

If you have to communicate with unfamiliar people, think through a couple of topics and questions in advance: hobbies, travel, books, films, work. But it’s best to avoid topics of religion, politics and health with new acquaintances – they rarely lead to easy conversation.

5. Задавайте уточняющие вопросы

The main “driver” of an interesting dialogue is sincere interest in the interlocutor. Clarifying questions (“What do you remember most?”, “Why did you choose this?”) prevent the conversation from going into a dead end and show that you are really listening.

6. Рассказывайте истории, а не факты

A dry list of information about yourself quickly gets boring. Remember in advance a couple of funny or unusual incidents from life – such stories can easily fill a pause and win over your interlocutor.

7. Следите за языком тела

Eye contact, an open posture, a slight smile and the absence of a phone in your hands say more to your interlocutor than words. And vice versa: crossed arms, looking away, or constantly checking the screen are instantly read as disinterest.

8. Избавьтесь от слов-паразитов

“In short”, “that’s the same”, “well”, “uh” – such words clog up speech and create the impression of uncertainty. Ask a loved one to pay attention to them – this way you will notice them faster and get rid of them.

9. Проявляйте инициативу

Don’t wait for someone to speak first. Start with a simple greeting, a light comment or a question – and gradually you will notice that taking the initiative in a conversation is becoming easier and easier.

10. Расширяйте кругозор

Sociability and interestingness are closely related to erudition. The more hobbies, impressions and knowledge you have in different areas, the easier it is to find topics for conversation and the more interesting you become to your interlocutor.

11. Практикуйтесь в разных ситуациях

Communication is a skill that only develops with practice. Start short conversations with the seller, bartender, and neighbors – this is a safe way to practice ease of communication. Attend events based on your interests: it’s easier to find a common language there because you and the people already have a common ground.

12. Не анализируйте разговор в моменте

Trying to mentally select the “right” words during a conversation usually leads to the opposite effect – stiffness and pauses. Allow yourself to speak more freely and evaluate the conversation afterward, trying to notice the good in it, not the mistakes.

13. Будьте терпеливы к себе

Friends and ease of communication rarely appear immediately. Research shows that on average it takes six to eight meetings to form a friendly relationship, and the status of a close friendship takes tens of hours of shared time. Give yourself permission to develop gradually, without harsh self-criticism.

Что в итоге

Becoming a social person is a realistic and achievable goal, even if talking to strangers makes you anxious right now. Working on self-esteem, regular practice, interest in people and a little courage in taking initiative gradually turns awkward pauses into easy and pleasant conversations. Start small – one new acquaintance or one conversation a day – and confidence will come on its own.

In a large company, people can work side by side for years and know almost nothing about each other. Marketing communicates with sales only on requests, development with support when a problem arises, HR with managers when it is necessary to fill a vacancy or adapt a newcomer. Formally, everyone works on the same team, but in practice, departments often exist separately.

Because of this, communication between departments suffers. It’s harder for employees to quickly find the right people, ask questions directly, share experiences, and understand how other teams live. This problem is especially noticeable in remote and hybrid formats, where casual conversations in the kitchen, in the hallway or after a meeting almost disappear.

The good news is that employee acquaintances can be organized systematically. To do this, it is not necessary to organize a large corporate event or complex team building. Short regular 1-on-1 meetings, internal networking, Random Coffee and other simple formats that help colleagues get to know each other without pressure and unnecessary formality often work better.

Why do employees from different departments know each other poorly?

Departments work in their own information bubbles

Each department has its own tasks, deadlines, metrics and internal language. Sales think about customers and transactions, marketing about traffic and applications, product team about service development, support about user problems, HR about people and processes. All these areas are interconnected, but employees often see only their area of ​​​​work.

The result is a gap. One department does not always understand why another makes certain decisions. People begin to communicate only through tasks, reports and urgent requests. Simple human contact is not enough.

Remote control removes random contacts

In the office, employees at least sometimes cross paths by chance. You can drink coffee together, discuss news, or get to know each other through a mutual colleague. In a remote or distributed team, there are almost no such situations.

If a company does not create separate points for informal communication, employees begin to know only those with whom they work every day. Newcomers adapt more slowly, teams trust each other less, and communication becomes dry and fragmented.

Formal meetings do not help you truly get to know each other

Work calls are needed for tasks, but they rarely help get to know a person. They discuss deadlines, statuses, problems, documents, approvals. Even if employees from different departments are present at the meeting, this does not mean that contact appears between them.

To introduce employees to each other, you need a different format: calm, short, regular and not overloaded with the work agenda.

Why introduce employees from different departments?

Work issues are resolved faster

When an employee already knows a person from another department, it is easier for him to write directly. No need to look for “someone from marketing” or “someone from product.” There is a specific person with whom you have already had a conversation.

This saves time. Issues are resolved faster, there are fewer misunderstandings, and unnecessary chains of messages and approvals appear less often.

Horizontal connections appear

Horizontal connections in a company are contacts between employees without the constant participation of managers. They help teams work faster and more flexibly.

For example, a support specialist can directly share common customer questions with the product team. The marketer can better understand the sales team’s arguments. HR can more quickly sense the mood in different teams. Such connections make the company less closed and more stable.

Newbies adapt faster

Adaptation of new employees should not be limited to getting to know the manager and the immediate team. It is important for a newcomer to understand how the entire company works: who is responsible for what, who to contact, what informal rules there are.

If from the first weeks a person gets to know colleagues from different departments, he quickly feels part of the team. It’s easier for him to ask questions, get involved in processes and understand the corporate culture.

Reduces feelings of isolation

Even in an active company, an employee can feel lonely if he communicates with only two or three people. This is especially true for remote teams, employees with flexible schedules, and professionals who rarely participate in all-hands meetings.

Regular meetings help people see that there are real people behind tasks and chats. This impacts engagement, trust and overall sense of belonging to the company.

What formats help to introduce employees to each other?

Random Coffee internally

Random Coffee is one of the simplest formats for internal networking. Employees are regularly paired for a short meeting: online or offline. Typically, such a meeting lasts 20–30 minutes and takes place without a rigid agenda.

The main goal of the format is to give people a reason to get to know each other. Participants can discuss what they do, what tasks they are currently solving, what teams they interact with, what interests they have outside of work.

Random Coffee is good if you need:

• introduce employees from different departments;
• establish communication between offices;
• support a remote team;
• help newcomers adapt faster;
• develop a corporate culture without forced activities.

Virtual cooler for remote team

A virtual cooler is an online replacement for an office kitchen or break area. In the office, employees can accidentally cross paths and talk. In a remote team, such an opportunity must be created separately.

The format can be different: short calls, random pairs, thematic chats, meetings based on interests. The main thing is that people have a safe space for informal communication without work tasks and reporting.

Cross-functional 1-on-1 meetings

Sometimes it is better to select pairs not completely randomly, but according to the logic of interaction between departments. For example:

• marketing and sales;
• product and support;
• HR and team leaders;
• development and customer service;
• finance and account managers.

Such meetings help employees better understand how their work affects other areas. This is useful not only for the atmosphere, but also for business processes.

Internal mini-interviews

Another simple format is short interviews with employees. They can be published in an internal channel, mailing list, or corporate portal.

The questions can be simple:

• what do you do in the company;
• what tasks can be addressed to you;
• which project is the most interesting right now;
• that colleagues usually do not know about your work;
• What advice would you give to a newbie?

This format helps employees get to know each other even without meeting in person. And if after the interview you add the opportunity to write to the person or schedule a short conversation, the effect will be stronger.

Interest clubs

People often get to know each other more easily not through positions, but through common interests. The company can run a book club, a running club, spoken English, a board game club, parent meetings, a film club, or any other format that suits the team culture.

It’s important not to try to reach everyone at once. It’s best to start with a few topics that employees are really interested in and see how they respond.

How to organize employee acquaintances without chaos

Define your goal

Before launching the format, it is important to understand why you want to introduce employees. The goal can be different:

• strengthen communication between departments;
• help newcomers integrate faster;
• reduce isolation in a remote team;
• increase engagement;
• develop corporate culture;
• create more horizontal connections.

If the goal is clear, it is easier to choose the format, rules and frequency of meetings.

Choose the right format

For regular dating, 1-on-1 meetings are best. They do not require much preparation and are usually easier than group activities. For new employees, you can add separate pairings with people from key departments. For a distributed team – online meetings and a virtual cooler. To develop culture – interest clubs and internal interviews.

You don’t need to launch everything at once. Start with one simple format, such as Random Coffee every two weeks.

Set up matching rules

Matching can be random, but in a corporate scenario it is often useful to add rules. For example:

• connect people from different departments;
• do not repeat pairs too often;
• take into account the city or time zone;
• take into account interests;
• connect newcomers separately;
• give the opportunity to skip a round.

Such rules help make meetings more useful and comfortable.

Give participants context for the conversation

One of the common problems with such meetings is an awkward start. People don’t always know what to talk about with an unfamiliar colleague. So it’s important to give a little context up front.

This could be a short profile of the participant: position, department, area of ​​responsibility, interests, topics in which a person can be useful, and topics that are interesting to him. When a participant sees this information before the meeting, the conversation starts easier.

Don’t make format an obligation

If getting to know employees is perceived as just another obligatory activity, interest quickly drops. It is better to make participation voluntary, but regular. For example, an employee can join a round of meetings if it is convenient for them, or skip it without explanation.

This approach reduces resistance and helps maintain the quality of communication.

What to tell employees at the first meeting

To make it easier for participants, you can offer a list of questions in advance. It doesn’t have to be a strict script, but it will help start a conversation.

Examples of questions:

• What do you do in the company?
• Which departments do you interact with most often?
• What is the most interesting task right now?
• What about your work usually goes unnoticed by others?
• What can I contact you with?
• What tools or approaches help you work faster?
• What do you like about the team?
• What advice would you give to a newbie?
• What are your hobbies outside of work?
• Who from other departments would you benefit from meeting?

Such questions help not to go into too formal a conversation, but also do not turn the meeting into an empty conversation.

Common mistakes when introducing employees

Make meetings mandatory

When people are forced to participate, the format quickly loses value. Employees begin to see it as just another task on the calendar. It’s better to motivate through clear benefits: new contacts, exchange of experience, quick access to people from other teams.

Don’t explain why this is necessary

The phrase “let’s get to know each other” sounds too abstract. It is important for employees to understand that internal networking helps them solve problems faster, understand the company better, and find useful connections.

Manually selecting pairs takes too long

At the start, HR or the manager can manually connect people. But if the team grows, this approach becomes inconvenient. You need to remember who has already met with whom, who is participating in this round, who is from which department, who needs a date, who missed the meeting.

If the process is not automated, it quickly becomes too time consuming.

Don’t collect feedback

After meetings, it is important to understand whether they took place and whether they were useful. A short feedback is enough: did the meeting go well, was it comfortable, does the person want to participate further. It’s difficult to improve the format without feedback.

How to tell if employee matchmaking is working

The effectiveness of internal networking can be assessed not only by the number of meetings. It’s important to look deeper.

Look out for a few signs:

• employees re-engage in meetings;
• people from different departments begin to contact each other directly more often;
• newcomers understand the company structure faster;
• participants leave positive feedback;
• new ideas, initiatives and working connections emerge;
• Communication between departments becomes easier.

The format works if after meetings employees have real contacts, and not just another item on the calendar.

How to automate employee dating

If the company is small, the first meetings can be organized manually. But with a regular format, it is more convenient to use the service for automation. It helps match people, send notifications, give participants context for conversations, collect feedback, and track activity.

For example, this approach can be used for Random Coffee, 1-on-1 meetings, introducing newcomers to the team, networking within the community, or communication between employees from different departments.

The Naura Meets service helps not just to introduce people once, but to build a regular process. Employees get a pair, understand who they are meeting with, see information about the interlocutor and can have a short conversation without unnecessary organizational burden. For HR, executives and community managers, this is a way to maintain live connections within the team without manual selection and constant reminders.

Conclusion

Introducing employees from different departments means more than just organizing one meeting or corporate event. It is important to create a clear and regular format in which it is easy for people to come into contact, get to know each other and find useful connections within the company.

Simple mechanics work best: Random Coffee, 1-on-1 meetings, virtual cooler, internal interviews, interest clubs and cross-functional acquaintances. They help develop communication between departments, speed up the onboarding of newcomers, reduce isolation in remote teams, and strengthen corporate culture.

If you make such meetings regular and add automation, internal networking ceases to be a one-time HR activity. It becomes part of the work environment, where employees know not only their tasks, but also the people with whom they share a common result.

FAQ

How to introduce employees from different departments?

Regular formats work best: 1-on-1 meetings, Random Coffee, virtual cooler, internal mini-interviews, interest clubs and cross-functional meetings between teams.

Why introduce employees to each other?

Meetings help to establish communication between departments, speed up resolution of work issues, strengthen horizontal connections, simplify the adaptation of newcomers and reduce the feeling of isolation in remote teams.

What is Random Coffee for employees?

Random Coffee is a format of short one-on-one meetings, when an employee is regularly matched with a new interlocutor from the company. Typically, participants meet online or offline for 20–30 minutes.

How to introduce employees remotely?

For a remote team, 1-on-1 online meetings, a virtual cooler, random coffee, thematic chats and regular informal calls without a strict work agenda are suitable.

How do you know if internal networking is working?

You can track the number of meetings held, employee re-engagement, feedback from conversations, new work contacts, and increased communication between departments.

How to automate employee dating?

You can use the service for matching matches, notifications, participant profiles, feedback and analytics. This helps to run meetings regularly, without manual selection and constant reminders.